There are all kinds of "calls" in this life. A couple of weeks ago, I wrote about the "call of the wild". This week has been a challenging week of self-examination and discernment. Whenever I look at the photos of our time in Mozambique, I feel an incredible tug to return. Knowing if that tug is a "call" is difficult. I want to serve God wherever I am, and I am fine with staying home and serving Him right here in the most ordinary of ways. But, what do I do with this "tug" in my heart?
I was reading Isaiah today and came upon a Scripture that spoke to my desire to serve "to the ends of the earth". In Isaiah 49:6b it says, "I will also make you a light for the Gentiles, that you may bring my salvation to the ends of the earth." Every time I see or hear that phrase "to the ends of the earth", my heart swells for Mozambique.
But is that "swelling" a call of God? Not necessarily~ That's where the discernment and self-examination come in. What are my motivations? Is there anything in me that is wanting to serve in Mozambique that is selfish or part of a personal agenda?
In reality, it would be much easier to stay home, to be sure. I would have to raise funds again, work on writing content, and keep a bunch of commitments I already have in place~ not to mention attending to my family. So why am I even thinking about going? It's this "tug". . . If God does call me to go, He will provide for all of it. My response for now is to simply be willing to go and willing to stay home. I want to do whatever God calls me to do, when He calls me to do it. For now, I will pray and seek His direction.
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