Light into Darkness

Missing the point

(Originally posted February 2010)
Oh, that I could draw! As I read Luke 2 tonight, I had a vision of the birthplace of Jesus and I wish I could draw it~ it would be my Christmas card for the rest of my life. Art through the centuries paints a picture of the birthplace of Jesus that misses the whole point. It was not a pastoral scene as pictured in this Renaissance painting.
It was not even a quaint, humble stable as pictured in the cards of greeting we send to one another as we celebrate His birth. It was most likely a cave with a shallow trough carved out of the rough rock~ dark, dank, dirty. Cold. Comfortless. Not unlike the cement floor on which this little one of Mozambique rests. My little Lucas . . .




If we really pay attention, this dark, dank cave in which Jesus was born was a picture for us of the world without Him. Jesus came into this weary world to bring His light into the darkest, dirtiest places we can imagine~ It is this light alone that can save us from the sin we are so bent upon.
Because of our incredible lack of imagination, we miss Him continually. When he came into the world in such humility, His chosen people missed him because they expected something different~ a militant savior who would deliver them from political oppression. What He offered was freedom from the oppression from sin and eternal life in His Kingdom. We are so short sighted~ still~ with all we have, with all we know about the life and actions of Jesus. We still don't really want what he has to offer.
What do we want from Jesus? We want God to provide what we think we need in this life. He actually gives us everything we "need". As a result, we miss Him. We think we need things: money, jobs, homes . . . (the list is longer than I dare attempt), and when He doesn't supply those things in the way we expect, we miss Him. If we look at what He actually does provide for us, we will realize what we really need and fall on our faces in humble gratitude and awe of His provision.

She's Come Undone - again

"Then he said, 'Here I am~it is written about me in the scroll~I have come to do your will, O God."

Hebrews 10:7

There is a special place in Mozambique where God called me to a new level of obedience in my life ~where I came "undone" before the Lord. I responded with trembling arms raised in the night as an amazing wind swirled through Bethel~

When God calls, there is but one response: "Here I am". Those words always stir a passion in my heart. The first time I read Samuel (1 Samuel 3) when Eli realized what was happening and told Samuel to say "speak Lord, your servant is listening", I knew that God was calling each of us to respond the same way. That was so many years ago-long before that moment under the tree in Mozambique in 2009. Each time I come across these words in Scripture or in worship, I offer myself again to God, and each time I believe I come a bit closer to the reality of what it means to offer myself to God and to do his will.

In my devotions today in Hebrews, once again I find myself standing before God, confessing my need for him and my desire to do his will in every area of my life. The truth is that God is not looking for meaningless sacrifice or robotic compliance to rules and regulations; he is looking for total surrender of my will in all things at all times. The words are easy to say; the walking it out is always the challenge.

Lord, fill me with knowledge of your will for me this day through your Holy Spirit that I may draw strength and direction from you as I offer myself to you. Have your way with me, O Lord- Have your way.

These Things You Should Teach

Titus 2: 11-15

¹¹ For the grace of God has appeared that offers salvation to all people.¹² It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, ¹³ while we wait for the blessed hope—the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, ¹⁴ who gave himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for himself a people that are his very own, eager to do what is good.

¹⁵ These, then, are the things you should teach.

In 2009, Crossroads sent a team of teachers to Mozambique to train teachers. Since then we have sent teams to drill and repair wells, to explore possible partnership with a rural hospital, to research small business development and create a business training, and last year as a group of Crossroaders built a training center for the Hope House orphanage, a team of teachers returned to train not only community teachers, but a group of government teachers as well. Every trip has focused on evangelism and sharing the gospel, but it has been deep in my heart that Crossroads is also supposed to develop leaders in Mozambique who will plant churches and disciple leaders and Christ followers. Clearly God has been preparing the way for the people of Mozambique and the people of Crossroads to partner for the full expression of his purposes there.

The time is near. Hearts have been prepared.

God is setting in motion all that is needed for this phase of the work in Mozambique to begin.

In June 2012, a Crossroads team will once again travel to Mozambique to be the hands and feet of Jesus. One group will provide a business training in Xai-Xai while the rest of the team will work at Hope House to provide a Community Bible School for the village where the orphanage is located and provide skill and craft training for the kids of Hope House.

On this trip, a small group of Crossroaders will travel to a distant village to join with a group of Mozambicans to share the gospel with neighbors in a nearby village which has no access by road. So, we will walk. We will carry what we need: food, water, fuel and a generator show the Jesus film. We will share the gospel of Christ and minister in prayer. We will bring the Light of Christ to a place where there was no light and we will plant the seed of Truth in the soil God has prepared.

This Mozambique Monday morning, I am praying for the people of Mozambique that the Light of Christ will overcome the darkness. The people who hear the Word of God will be filled with the Holy Spirit and released from fear and superstition. The Light of Truth will spread throughout the land and leaders will be called by God and guided by His Spirit to disciple those around them so that they will be set free to worship, honor and glorify the one true God. Praise be to God for the work he is doing not only in Mozambique, but throughout the world.

Dancin' in Mozambique!

This was one of the most amazing trips into Mozambique so far! God was so gracious as he provided inspiration for the curriculum and an awesome partner in the training- Leo Vollbract! So much happened there and eventually I will share more, but what I want to share most is that I had fun! The video clip below is a good example of just how much freedom I experienced as I danced with the teachers after a long day of training. I was returning to my room-hoping to take a warm shower and maybe a little rest before dinner, when I heard the sound of singing and clapping. I ran toward the women gathered by our rooms and joined in the festivities. The thought of a shower disappeared as we danced and laughed together that evening. The next morning, I showered without hot water or light, but it didn't matter. The opportunity to celebrate with my sisters that night was worth it.

A Thorn in My Side

My instinct in life is to do everything in my power to avoid situations that make me feel weak and helpless, yet here I am facing one of the most difficult tasks I have ever faced. Our team is planning a teacher training for July in Mozambique. In March, I traveled to Mozambique where I visited four classrooms and observed the teaching methods so that we might be able to write a practical curriculum that will be truly valuable to the teachers there. Yet, I still feel completely at a loss as to how we should proceed. I shared with a friend recently that it feels a lot like walking on water! I know Jesus has called Crossroads to make a difference in Mozambique and this is the current task before us, but it's hard to keep my eyes off the waves raging about my ankles!

What seems impossible in the natural realm, becomes possible when I allow God to take the simple things I bring to him and let him make something out of them.This training stretches me so far beyond my own ability that it has to be God's hand that moves and not my own.

He knows the needs of each teacher coming to the training, and the gifts and talents of each person on the curriculum team. He is the master weaver~he will weave a beautiful tapestry with the simple threads we bring to him, if only we let him.

Today, I was brought once again to that Scripture where Paul refers to the "thorn in his flesh" (2 Corinthians: 7-10)

When Paul pleaded with the Lord to take the thorn from him, the Lord responded, My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness".

Ignite

"Ignite my heart/ Let your fire burn in me

Ignite my heart/and take all of me."

These words stir my heart. As I burn with passion for God however, I've noticed scorched earth around me. I sense a distance from people who find my passion too intense; my dear husband has no eyelashes or eyebrows!

Sometimes the issue is not burning with passion for God, but learning to burn in a way that does not consume. In Exodus 3, God speaks to Moses by drawing him to a bush that Moses saw burning but not being consumed.

That is how I want to burn for God ~To burn brightly, in a way that draws people close so that God can speak to them; but not so intensely that I burn up whatever or whoever gets close to me.

Sometimes my challenge is to stay engaged in the things of this world-you know, things like cooking dinner, doing laundry, hanging out with friends family! I do these things ~the chores get done, but my energy, my enthusiasm is elsewhere. Even hanging out with family or friends is a different kind of effort these days.

I prefer getting stuff done on the Mozambique work that is before me. I have bowed before God more than once to offer this up to him-willing to give up the work for Mozambique if I am not supposed to do it. I am so undisciplined about spending too much time focused on the work and not enough time focused on the important relationships in my life.

Each time I come to this place, I sense that God is telling me I can continue to work, but I must learn to discipline myself to stay engaged with my world around me. What good am I if I simply burn for him and am not winsome- not drawing people toward the love of God? This is such a challenge for me. There is nothing I long for more than to live gracefully as I serve God; instead, I feel awkward and clumsy-needing to apologize for my behavior more often than I like. It is my prayer that God will give me the grace I desire and my struggle will become a story that will draw others closer to Him.

Perfection

Recently, I realized that as I set out for Mozambique on this trip in March, that I am once again dealing with perfectionism. When perfection is my goal, fear sets in. What if I make mistakes? What if the video I take is not good enough? What if I don't handle delicate situations well?

What if.....?

I know better, but the reality is that the struggle with perfectionism creeps into my life, my ministry, my relationships and paralyzes me with fear. It's a slow, insidious process.

Fortunately, this weekend the message at Crossroads was about having a "brave heart". At some point during the message, I realized that I was afraid of what was before me! I had no idea!

Upon reflection, my fears are always the same: failure and rejection. And the root of those issues is pride! It always comes back to pride, doesn't it? The good news is that as I stood in worship before God, it became perfectly clear: Nothing matters except that I open myself to God's unconditional love and acceptance and please him only. No one else matters. Other opinions don't count, no matter how many mistakes I make along the way.

This doesn't mean that I am not to do my best as I follow God where he calls me. There is an element of excellence that honors God as we serve him. I surrender all my pride, all my fear and trust that if he calls me to do something, he will equip me. All I have to do is trust in Him.