Ignite

"Ignite my heart/ Let your fire burn in me

Ignite my heart/and take all of me."

These words stir my heart. As I burn with passion for God however, I've noticed scorched earth around me. I sense a distance from people who find my passion too intense; my dear husband has no eyelashes or eyebrows!

Sometimes the issue is not burning with passion for God, but learning to burn in a way that does not consume. In Exodus 3, God speaks to Moses by drawing him to a bush that Moses saw burning but not being consumed.

That is how I want to burn for God ~To burn brightly, in a way that draws people close so that God can speak to them; but not so intensely that I burn up whatever or whoever gets close to me.

Sometimes my challenge is to stay engaged in the things of this world-you know, things like cooking dinner, doing laundry, hanging out with friends family! I do these things ~the chores get done, but my energy, my enthusiasm is elsewhere. Even hanging out with family or friends is a different kind of effort these days.

I prefer getting stuff done on the Mozambique work that is before me. I have bowed before God more than once to offer this up to him-willing to give up the work for Mozambique if I am not supposed to do it. I am so undisciplined about spending too much time focused on the work and not enough time focused on the important relationships in my life.

Each time I come to this place, I sense that God is telling me I can continue to work, but I must learn to discipline myself to stay engaged with my world around me. What good am I if I simply burn for him and am not winsome- not drawing people toward the love of God? This is such a challenge for me. There is nothing I long for more than to live gracefully as I serve God; instead, I feel awkward and clumsy-needing to apologize for my behavior more often than I like. It is my prayer that God will give me the grace I desire and my struggle will become a story that will draw others closer to Him.